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[Full-disclosure] Latest judgement by Internet Justice Court: Still insecure, after all these years.
From: Squadron of Justice <internetsuperheros_at_nospam>Date: Sun Aug 10 2008 - 10:46:37 GMT
To: full-disclosure@lists.grok.org.uk
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In the very end of the 16th edition of Defcon, the Squadron of
Justice is proud
to present the allegations and final resolution on the judgement of
Alan Shimel
for crimes against Humankind, Honor, Respect and the Queen.
Alan Shimel is among the many C-level executives within the
security industry
that will be prosecuted under the Law of Internet Balance, which
regulates the
amount of useless information, marketing, lies and hype an
individual might be
able to spread in a certain amount of time.
The Great Council of Internet Superheros, hereto grants permission
to the
Squadron of Justice, the Bl4qh4t L1b3r4t10n 4rmy and other
supporting
organizations to take reckless immediate action, to assure the
correctness,
security, integrity and righteousness of these legal proceedings.
Alan Shimel has been producing an exceedingly huge amount of
useless traffic,
otherwise known as 'bullshit' by non-super-powered individuals,
violating
sections I, II, III, IV, V, VI and MAXINT of the Internet Law on
Lies and Hype.
>From his website, StillSecureAfterAllTheseYears (to be referred as
StillInsecure
AfterAllTheseYears onwards), he has distributed innumerable 'posts'
containing
excessive amounts of made up facts and misleading statements, as
well as calling
booth babes 'women without raunchy and without class'.
Even though the Council and its supporting organizations are
profound feminism
detractors (since most feminists are bored, sex starved, life-
lacking maniacdepressive
lesbians), they do not condone nor allow acts against
women of any
kind in the digital realms of the Internet. Such despicable
activities will be
intensely monitored and punished. We know that feminists would be a
lesser
annoyance if they fucked a living being once in a while, but until
that happens,
be prepared for shortage of batteries and other portable electrical
power due to
dildo abuse.
Currently operatives are investigating the potential Jewish roots
of Alan Shimel
and the consequences of a showdown against his lineage. Jew blood
lines will not
be tolerated in the digital realms, due to violations of sections
VIII and XII
of the Zion Elders Regulation Law ("possessing an ugly big nose and
wrinkled face
with lousy black hair, as well as a reckless craving for money and
bright gold
teeth").
Stillsecure Inc. assets will be investigated for potential charges
of Money
laundering, malicious marketing practices and sponsoring of illegal
conferences
such as Blackhat Las Vegas and Defcon.
<great justice>
Alan Shimel
Visa: ************6047
Expire date: 09/2011
(We reserve the Mastercard ending on 1740 for supporting the
infrastructures
of the Chamber of Internet Justice). Your wife (Bonnie) credit card
ends on
6639 but awesome superheroes respect women.
Address: 21455 Halstead drive
City: Boca Raton
State: Florida
Zipcode: 33428
Country: United States of Fucking America
Phone: +1.5618526591
Mother's maiden name: Goodkin (Serious?)
You can also publish invited guest posts on Alan's blog at: b7e557dcbba22d68@typepad.com
Remember to spell check.
You can access (if it remains available) his WhatsDoin' private
section
with username 'guest' and password 'pearl'.
</great justice>
You might be interested the revamped (in)Security Bloggers Network,
the
StillInsecureBlog (after all these years...), etc...
http://www.stillsecureafteralltheseyears.com/ http://networks.feedburner.com/Security-Bloggers-Network/
Mailbox archives to follow, coming soon to your screen!
Finally, the Council and related parties would like to produce a
statement of
intentions to ensure that our mission and objectives are clear.
- - The remnants of the hacking scene, otherwise known as the nowadays decaying Underground should be protected by all possible means.
- - Security 'researchers' and their ill-gained fame and public recognition must be questioned outside of the media and press. It is about time to see if they are up for the image they portray of themselves.
- - Security companies practices will be exposed. Use of advisories, leaking of exploits, advertisement of 0day, hyping of research and general scare mongering tactics employed by these commercial orgs. to spread FUD and boost the sales of their products. It's about time to take a decision about what side of the fence you want to be fronting. We've taken the decision a long time ago and we don't like you playing both sides.
- - Relationships of media and press with specific companies, their 'exclusivity' pseudo agreements and favors will be exposed. Yes, it's you Larry Seltzer. It's you Ryan Naraine. It's you Mr. Lemos. It's you Oprah. No wait, Tom Cruise killed her already.
- - We don't want public recognition, fame nor personal gain. We are putting ourselves on the line for what we deem worth to risk ourselves. We could well be archiving your mailboxes, research work, company memos, personal photos and videos, credit statements, bank accounts, etc, without mentioning a word about it, and you would never notice. We've been doing it for years. Some of our archives date years back. The Internet does not forget. Just because we don't upload a torrent to The Pirate Bay with all your files doesn't mean we don't have them. grsecurity does not protect you. Symantec does not protect you. HD Moore and Mark Ranum don't protect you. We protect you when we decide to stop using our awesome super powers against you.
And that is not gonna happen.
Your end might be not nigh yet, but we are getting goddamn fucking close to it.
Good night and good luck, you guys will certainly need it. The game
starts now.
For the lulz. For justice. For the fallen comrades. Suck our
awesome super
powered dicks.
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